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November 2014 SVC-CAMFT Newsletter.

  November 2014  


 Sacramento Valley Chapter

California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists

Newsletter Editor:  Heather Blessing, MFT Registered Intern

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Letter from the Board

November 1, 2014

Dear {Contact_First_Name} {Contact_Last_Name},

We are nearing the end of our Chapter in the book of the Sacramento Valley Chapter of CAMFT.  We would like to look back at the many successes and dreams of the last year.

We had been running in the red for three years, so we wanted to cut costs in anyway we could. Sierra Vista Hospital was very generous and offered us their gym for our meeting room. They also provided two other rooms for our other needs. This saved the club $850.00 a month that the former meeting place was going to charge us. We cannot begin to express our appreciation of the hospitality and generosity of Sierra Vista Hospital.

Carol Nelson and the Membership Committee grew the membership substantially and produced a fabulous Directory which is now  place in several hospitals and psychiatrists offices for better referrals for our members. Carol is moving back to Southern California and we will miss her very, very much!  She not only did her own job wonderfully, but was always there to support the other Board Members in the tasks that we wanted to accomplish.

Sterling Evison worked tirelessly on the Club 3000 to develop speakers that would be relevant tour trainees and interns. She helped with Events, used her wonder paralegal skill to help us make an informative and competent replay to CAMFT on the Chapter Agreement. She did all this and remained such a positive and supportive influence in our chapter.  I also want to thank Chad for his help with the Chapter Agreement.

Marti brought all our events to life with a Mindfulness exercise.  That’s right, “Therapists get p and breathe in the MOMENT.” Marti helped us leave our worries and cares away with hugs and awareness so that we didn’t miss anything during our events. She was also a dynamic part of the Program Chair Team that was so successful this year. She worked very hard on the law and Ethics Program finding a site and planning all of the logistics. She also brought SVC-CAMFT and AAMFT-Sacramento together. This makes a powerful presence in Sacramento.

Kari was the other part of the dynamic duo for Program Chair team. She is bubbly and full of life. The FEAST she arranged for the Law and Ethics Program is still being talked about. The Speaker actually stopped early to be able to eat sooner! Kari also provided support during all the events and was the go to person if anything had been forgotten or was needed.

Heather has been wonderful single-handedly completing the newsletter, and keeping us current on our website with Events, surveys, voting and registration. We are also losing her this year and she will be missed. Heather not only completes her jobs but has also jumped in for Hospitality and Chapter Agreement and several other tasks to lend to support to our Chapter. Heather you are wonderful and we wish you the best.

Beverly as always has kept us on track as our Treasurer. She has been most helpful in information on how we are setting up our events, insurance advise, and paying our invoices promptly.

Mike, Kimberlie, Betty, Maria have supportive us this year with many of the tasks we have accomplished. We have dreams that have not been accomplished yet but we are turning these over ot our new Board. We are meeting with this Board November 23, 2014 and can’t wait to see how they will write their chapter in the Sacramento Valley Chapter of CAMFT. 

Jill P. Lawler, LMFT #51392


  This issue:
· Letter From the Board
· Legal Beagle
· Keep an eye out for your Ballot and Vote
·  October Presentation Summary
· Upcoming Meeting Information
· Upcoming Board Meetings
· Interview with a Therapist
· Special Feature·
· Letters to the Editor
· Psyched about Books and Movies

· Advertising and Announcements
· Advertising Policy for the Newsletter

Jill P. Lawler, LMFT

Past President:
Chad Thompson, LMFT
Maria Wiese, LMFT
Beverly Baldwin, MFT Intern
Terri Johnson, LMFT
Darlene Daveis, LMFT
Ann Leber, LMFT
Patricia St. James, LMFT
Program Co-Chairs:
"Marti" McClellan-Morehouse, LMFT
Kari Deitrich, Trainee
Hospitality Co-Chairs:
Kimberlie Flowers, MFT

Pre-License Co-Chairs:
Sterling Evison,

Volunteer Chair:

Membership Co-Chairs:
Carol Nelson, LMFT
Betty Knight, LMFT

Newsletter Editor:
Heather Blessing, MFT Intern


Legal Beagle

dectective.pngWelcome to the section of the SVC-CAMFT newsletter, Legal Beagle written by Darlene Davis, LMFT. The chapter thought it would be helpful to keep you updated on new laws, legislative pursuits or actions, as well as ongoing legal and ethical dilemmas we all face in our career as Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, Interns, and Trainees. Please feel free to ask questions that you have and I will do my best to investigate and post your answer in the newsletter. Please note that articles are based on information from CAMFT and/or the BBS and have been researched to the best of my ability. This is not meant to be legal advice.  Please contact CAMFT or Board of Behavioral Sciences for any legal matters you need assistance for.

Our Legal Beagle is on a well deserved vacation.  She will be returning in our January 1, 2015 Newsletter.


Darlene Davis, LMFT Executive Director HOPE; Healthy Outcomes for Personal Enrichment MFT Stipend Coordinator for Greater Sacramento Instructor of University of Phoenix www.darlenedavismft.com www.hope-counselingcenter.org





Keep your eyes out for your ballot that will come by email.

Let your voices be heard!



  October Presentation Summary
Co-Parenting Tools for Groups and Individuals
  (2 CEUs)

Carol Delzer, MFT and attorney

Carol introduced herself as a divorced single mom, an attorney since 1989 and a Parent Educator since 1992. She now has her Family Law Practice in downtown Sacramento. She is also an author of “Positive Discipline for Single Parents (co-author Jane Nelson) and her current book is “Collaborative Co-parenting”.  Each person attending the October meeting received a copy of her new book and her   presentation followed the book.

Carol learned what the California courts want parents to know and she made this information clear and accessible for single parents. She went through the chapters in the book, from what makes each child unique to how to give a child an on-going healthy relationship to each parent.

Carol illustrated her talk with experiences from her own parenting with her daughter’s father. A picture of the three of them at her daughter’s college graduation was graphic proof of her success. This was accomplished from the beginning by recognizing and managing the changes from marriage to becoming two separated parents.

Keeping the ties to each parent strong by fair division of time and never talking negatively of the other parent is important. Trust is importantundefinedkeeping promises about time and money and not arguing in front of children. Skillful communication can overcome fear, sadness and anger which often come up in the process of single parenting. As the child develops he/she goes through developmental changes and co-parenting must adjust. 

Carol wants her book to be available free to therapists and is offering the $29.95 book to members at her web site, www.collaborativecoparenting.com with the code SVCCAMFT. She encourages therapists to offer a parenting class using her book as a guide. The free offer is available until 12/31/2014. Carol’s presentation was excellent and was very appreciated by a large attendance

By Colene Sawyer Schlaepfer


Upcoming Meeting Information

November Training - Click Here to Register

Upcoming Board Meetings
Board Meetings are FREE for anyone to attend BUT you MUST register so we have an accurate headcount.
To Register click on the board meeting(s) you wish to attend.

Sunday, November 23, 2014 - 10am-2pm - (Election & Training Focused)

Interview with a Therapist

Interview with Charlotte H. Parks, LMFT


Q: How long have you been licensed?

A: Since 2007

Q: Where do you work? 

A: Heritage Oaks Hospital Roseville Outpatient Center


Q: Is it private practice or an agency?

A: Agency under the United Health Services corp.

Q: What population/s do you work with?

A: Adults

Q: What type/s of therapy do you utilize in your mental health work?

A: CBT, DBT, Art Therapy, Movement Therapy, EFT

Q: Which, if any, certification/s or specialization/s do you have?

A: MA in Movement Therapy, working towards certification in DBT.

Q: Is there any other information about yourself that you’d like to provide?

A: I love my job.


Q: What made you decide upon mental health as a profession?

A: I find the workings of the brain and mind fascinating.  It allows me to work heart to heart.

Q: What types of populations or particular types of mental health challenges have been most challenging for you to work with? 

A: The help-rejecting patient.

Q: How have you dealt with clients with poor boundaries?

A: Gently.  Often body and movement therapies are handy.


Q: What advice would you give for someone contemplating private practice versus other workplace options? 

A: Get good help for billing and paperwork.


Q: How do you feel about personal therapy being optional for psychotherapists?

A: I feel it is essential.

Q: Which skills do you think are most important for a pre-licensed therapist to focus on developing?

A: Finding a primary type of therapy and ethics.


Q: Which mental health-related books have been your favorites or influenced you the most?

A: Dr. Burns “Feeling Good Handbook.”


Q: What has been the most challenging part of your career?

A: Working periodically for idiots and MediCal billing.


Q: What have you found to be the most fulfilling and meaningful aspects of your career?

A: Helping people find more joy in life and working heart to heart.


Q: Did you have a mentor or a particular person that influenced your growth as a therapist? 

A: Yes, Pamela Siegen LMFT, and art therapist.

Q: If so, what did you learn from that person and how did he or she contribute to your development as a mental health professional?

A: She kept me honest and working from the heart.


Q: How did you go about creating your own therapeutic style?

A: Evolutionally, it, like me, just developed.

Q: How have you maintained the balance of your career and personal and managed self-care?

A: By learning about my own limitations and strengths.


Q: What do you know now that wish you knew before you became a licensed therapist?

A: To find a better supervisor.


Q: What advice would you give to a pre-licensed therapist?

A: Find a great supervisor.

Interview by: Sterling Evison, LMFT
SVC-CAMFT Pre-Licensed Co-Chair

Special Feature

Marriage: Obsolete or Evolving?

By Marcia Naomi Berger, MSW, LCSW

 Is marriage becoming obsolete? About half of first marriages end in divorce, as do sixty percent of second marriages and seventy percent of third ones. 

The apparent marriage crisis results from huge societal shifts that have occurred in recent decades. These changes have bred new expectations for marriage, which are often unconscious. Consequently, people tend to lack clarity about why they are marrying and what they hope to gain from the union. When the marriage falters, they tend to blame either their spouse or the institution of marriage, saying it is obsolete.

     Marriage is not obsolete; it is evolving.

Until about fifty years ago, most women needed marriage for financial security and social status. Marriage was the only career option for most middle class women. Cohabitating couples were stigmatized, as were people who divorced or stayed single. Sexual relationships and bearing children outside of marriage were also frowned upon.

Back then a joke circulated saying that women went to college for an MRS degree. Many women did marry soon after graduating and became housewives and mothers. Betty Friedan’s book, The Feminine Mystique, was a harbinger of the huge societal changes that were about to rock the established order.

What a difference a few decades have made! Now most women hold jobs, and a third of married women out-earn their husbands. Clearly, the rules have changed. The old reasons for marrying no longer generally apply.

What looks like a current marriage crisis is the result of a widespread lack of understanding for how to create a satisfying 21st century marriage. What most of people really want, whether they know it or not, is a relationship that fulfills them emotionally and spiritually, as well as physically

and materially. When these higher needs (think Maslow’s hierarchy) are not met, many place the onus on their spouse. Some blame the institution of marriage, saying it is obsolete.
I don’t think marriage is obsolete. I think marriage is evolving undefined and that’s a good thing!

The vast majority of people can create lasting, loving marriages; they just need to learn how. I recommend that couples to hold a weekly thirty-minute “marriage meeting” with a simple format that covers all the important aspects of the relationship. Any two people who live under the same roof can benefit from holding similar meetings. The meeting’s techniques can be applied successfully in other settings as well, including in business environments.
A marriage meeting has four parts: Appreciation, Chores, Planning for Good Times, and Problems and Challenges.
1. During Appreciation each partner takes an uninterrupted turn to say what her or she liked that the spouse did during the past week.
2. Chores is the business part of the meeting. Each partner brings in a to-do list. Together, they agree on who will take care of what task(s).
3. Planning for Good Times is when the couple schedules a date for just the two of them. Spouses are also encouraged to plan enjoyable activities for each partner to do on their own. 
4. During Problems and Challenges, couples are advised to start with light concerns during early meetings and to make sure to use positive communication skills. An easy-to-resolve challenge, for example, can be when one partner is trying to lose weight and asks the other to help, such as by either not bringing home the tempting junk food or by hiding it. Once the couple gains confidence in holding effective marriage meetings, they can introduce more challenging topics, like in-law issues, money, sex, and parenting concerns.
Some people object to the idea of a formal meeting. The trade-off is worth it, though, because without an ongoing system for addressing the details of life together that need attention, it is easy to ignore them for too long. One spouse might want to talk about something when the other one is preoccupied or decide to wait for a right time that never seems to come. If the person does bring up a sensitive matter when the partner’s mind is elsewhere, the former can feel like having entered a minefield.
Similarly, it’s easy to forget to express appreciation or to plan dates and other enjoyable, restorative activities. Chores can pile up or get mishandled. By scheduling times for marriage meetings, spouses reconnect and feel valued by each other every week. After meeting for a while, the meetings benefits extend to everyday interactions. Partners notice what they like about each other more often, give compliments, and use positive communication techniques routinely.
You’ve probably heard people explain their failed marriage by saying, “We just grew apart.” Couples do not grow apart; they drift away because they stop making time for each other. Marriage meetings provide a weekly wake-up call for staying connected emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually.
On a personal note, my husband and I have been holding weekly meetings since shortly after marrying, and we just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary.

Marriage meetings foster romance, intimacy, teamwork, and smoother resolution of issues undefined a golden opportunity for a lasting, fulfilling twenty-first-century marriage!
                                                                                                                         # # #

Psychotherapist Marcia Naomi Berger, MSW, LCSW, is the author of Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted, where you will find detailed guidelines, step-by-step instructions for conducting each part of a Marriage Meeting agenda, along with communication skills for successful meetings and many case examples.  

Based on the book Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love, copyright © 2014 by Marcia Naomi Berger.

The above article was printed in the July-August 2014 Connections newsletter of San Fernando Valley CAMFT.  For additional information or for a speaking engagement, contact Phyllis Silver, Golden State Media, at 415-488-4142 or Phyllis.goldenstatemedia@gmail.com.  Thank you!


The views expressed in the Special Feature Articles do not necessarily reflect the Sacramento Valley Chapter of CAMFT or CAMFT. They should be understood as the personal opinions of the author. No information in this articles will be understood as official.  Other views and commentary are welcome and will be published as long as they are respectful and stick to the topic.


Letters to the Editor
Welcome to the Letters to the editor Section.  We want to hear what you want to say about SVC-CAMFT, CAMFT, current events and issues.  Please see below guidelines on submitting a letter.

 We Have No Letters to the Editor!  Let your voice be heard!  Write a letter to the editor!

 Letters to the Editor Guidelines
  • You must be a current SVC-CAMFT member.
  • You cannot be a SVC-CAMFT board member or employee.
  • It must be no more than 250 words.
  • You must send in your full name so I can verify that you are a member.
  • If you wish your name not to be published please indicate.
  • Any letter published without a name will be listed as Anonymous MFT or Anonymous pre-license or Anonymous Associate
  • All letters must be respectful and without inappropriate words or phrases including name calling.
  • Please send your letters to newslettereditor@sacramentovalleycamft.org
  • If you do not get a response back within 2 days that it has been received please email back.
  • If there is a problem with the letter (language, misspellings, length or appropriateness) you will receive an email back with the reason for the rejection and a chance to fix the problem and send it back in. 


Psyched about Books and Movies
Welcome to "Psyched about Books and Movies!"  Each month we include a book or movie review by one of our readers.  Please see below guidelines on submitting a review.  Happy reading!

Title:  Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted
Publisher: New World Library, Novato, CA
Copyright: 2014, Marcia Naomi Berger
Marcia Naomi Berger
Dorie Rosenberg, LMFT
Marcia Naomi Berger's book about Marriage Meetings makes this an occasion for connection more than a technique. Berger has presented, in a very approachable way, how and why Marriage Meetings enhance a couple's relationship over a lifetime.

            The author did a fantastic job of illustrating softening one's request for change until the request comes in a form that one's spouse is willing and able to make. Most people have the tendency to get louder or manipulative rather than softer and considerate of their spouse's nature.

            Case studies throughout the book further illustrated how the complex emotions of relationships can be worked to resolution.  It's clear that holding Marriage Meetings will help a couple continually feel more happily bonded, which would make living together for life a positive, precious experience.  I have recommended this book to my clients, with good results.


Book/Movie Review Submission Policy

All reviews are not to exceed 1000 key strokes.
Your review should include the title, a short synopsis about why you like or dislike it, and the author’s name & publication date. You can also include a picture of the book and/or movie. After review, we will publish your review in our next newsletter. Reviews submitted that are longer than 1000 characters will be returned for editing. It is best to type your review in a Microsoft Word document to note how many key strokes (characters with spaces), how big your review is, and for your own record keeping. You can then copy and paste it into the online submission form located here (
http://www.sacramentovalleycamft.org/Newsletter.html) To learn more about checking your review for key strokes, spelling grammer and size click below: (http://www.sacramentovalleycamft.org/How_to_check_review_in_microsoft_word.doc).

It is your responsibility to check for spelling and grammar errors.  Reviews must be received by the 20th of the month in order to appear in the next newsletter.

You can submit your review by: Visiting our webpage: www.sacramentovalleycamft.org

Mailing it in: P.O. Box 163385, Sacramento, CA 95816


Advertising and Announcements


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Advertising Policy for the Newsletter

All ads and reviews are not to exceed 1000 key strokes. Chapter members advertise at no cost. Non-members can advertise about employment opportunities at no cost. Non-members, non employment-related ads follow these rates:


$10 for 200 key strokes

$20 for 201-600 key strokes

$30 for 601-1000 key strokes

Full page and ½ page ads are not accepted.


All ads contain text only; no graphics will be included.

Ads submitted that are longer than 1000 characters will be returned for editing. It is best to type your ad in a Microsoft Word document to note how many characters, how big your ad is, and for your own record keeping. Please visit our site to find more information on how to use Microsoft word for editing. You can then copy and paste it on our online submission form located here (http://www.sacramentovalleycamft.org/Newsletter.html)

It is your responsibility to check for spelling and grammar errors.


Ads must be received by the 25th of the month in order to appear in the next newsletter. Ads are placed in the order that they are received.


You can submit and pay for your ad by:


Visiting our webpage: www.sacramentovalleycamft.org

Mailing in payment: P.O. Box 163385, Sacramento, CA 95816

Emailing the Newsletter Editor: newslettereditor@sacramentovalleycamft.org

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